happy mixed couple

Does this sound familiar?

your view of the marriage and your partner is bleak – you both turn away from each other;
you and your partner don’t seem to know anything about each other any more;
the values and guiding principles you once shared no longer seem in sync;
conflict is relentless, there seems to be no moving forward;
you don’t seem to have any mutual dreams anymore;
sex and romance have gone by the wayside;
you no longer seem to be best friends;
you can’t seem to communicate;
the affection is gone.

I can help you

foster increased emotional safety between partners;
show your children the vital healthy ways you love each other;
communicate in constructive ways – less criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling;
invest in the relationship as a worthy enterprise in itself, while moving into the future;
promote healthy mutual understanding on differences, foster fondness, admiration and affection.

 I use two different but complementary approaches in my practice:

The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy: A research-based approach – founded on 30+ years of observational and naturalistic life-stage studies around a central theme – what makes couples “tick”, what distinguishes healthy from unhealthy couples, and what can be done to improve them.  Drs. John and Julie Gottman focus on evaluating and promoting the major building blocks of sound relationship, from the ground up. A variety of assessment and repair modalities derive from these findings.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Dr. Susan Johnson’s approach, widely taught in graduate programs across North America, focuses on deep attachment, or lack thereof, in couples. She looks to reduce repetitive patterns impeding secure bonding between the individuals, and promotes reduction of avoidant anger and withdrawal. This allows intimacy, heart safety and deep connection. Interventions concentrate on facilitating clients’ emotional safety to access and express their innermost selves with each other.

“Betrayal is the secret that lies at the heart of every failing relationship. It is there even if the couple is unaware of it. If a husband always puts his career ahead of his relationship, that is betrayal. If a wife keeps breaking her promise to start a family, that is also betrayal. Pervasive coldness, selfishness, unfairness, and other destructive behaviours are also evidence of disloyalty, and can lead to consequences as equally devastating as adultery.”  John Gottman